I didn’t mind Lexi hanging out in my room. I truly didn’t.
Back when I’d received my first Nintendo, Mom hadn’t wanted it in the living room, so I got to have it conveniently tucked in the corner of my bedroom. I’d had to let Lexi play sometimes, but it wasn’t that bad. Unlike some of my friends’ siblings, my little sister was generally pretty respectful of my space, and only occasionally a bit of a brat.
My setup had evolved since the early days, in consoles and tvs. The size of my screen had expanded to the point where it was genuinely comfortable to play while sprawled out on my bed. The height of luxury, given the right mood. I didn’t mind Lexi emulating me there either, lounging on my bed like it was her own while she played either with me or by herself. Even using my room while I wasn’t there was fine. She’d remained a model room-guest over the years, and there’d been no change to that as she reached her late teens.
What bothered me, rather frustratingly and counter-intuitively, was that Lexi had grown up.
It happened to everyone, I supposed. I’d grown into my body ahead of Lexi, being the elder sibling and all. It wasn’t like I expected her not to follow suit, albeit in a somewhat more feminine way. It was just that there had never come a time when natural barriers got thrown up to protect us from one another.
I knew Lexi was aware that she’d grown up. I saw the way she changed around her friends, around boys, around Mom and Dad, even. She acted differently, talked differently, and dressed differently. And yet, somehow, she thought nothing of bouncing into my room on a Saturday morning in her sleep shirt and panties and flopping onto my bed while firing up whatever game had her attention at the moment.
Sleep outfits were often the worst offenders of all her outfits, since they nearly always lacked proper bottoms. Skirts could be just as bad, though, or tight jeans or shorts, or tops that either hugged her too well or not well enough.
I honestly, truly tried my very best not to look at her that way. I made a very conscious effort. But in spite of my best efforts, there were only so many times I could wake up to her casual state of partial undress before I had to acknowledge that yes, in fact, my sister’s butt looked pretty good, and was just as interesting to stare at as if she hadn’t been my sister.
Following from there, naturally, was the forced acknowledgement that Lexi possessed all the other physical attributes an eighteen year old girl generally does, all the same interesting-to-stare-at kind of bits. Bits I really wished didn’t look quite so good on my sister.
Lexi was cheerfully oblivious to my problems, which was infuriating at times. I could almost think that she was doing it on purpose, showing off her butt to me just for fun, but that wasn’t like her. She’d never, to my knowledge, deliberately teased me with her body. I didn’t think it even occurred to her that she could.
And so, once again, I woke up one Saturday morning to the shifting of my bed as Lexi got all comfy, lying down facing toward the tv and away from me. She was quiet about it, had muted the tv and everything, but she couldn’t help disturbing the mattress as she lay down on her tummy. Not for the first time I wondered if there might have been subtle benefits to having a narrower bed, if only so I wouldn’t wake up to her butt in my face, and all associated problems..
I feigned sleep for a while. I didn’t have to get up yet, and I didn’t much want to either, partly because I had some inconvenient morning wood. Not because of Lexi, but just because.
Unfortunately for my attempts at being good, the way the two of us were lying, Lexi’s butt was directly in my eyeline if I opened my eyes. I could keep them closed, sure, but that was boring, and I kind of like watching her play. She’d only recently discovered Breath of the Wild, and it turned out she loved it. There was a delightful innocence of sorts to watching her explore.
“Mom’s making muffins,” Lexi said. “They might be ready by now.”
I stayed quiet for a moment, then, “How’d you know I was awake?”
“The way you breathe.”
“You’ve been listening to my breathing?”
“Kinda. Kinda can feel it through the mattress too.”
“Oh you can not.”
Lexi shrugged. “‘K.”
I sat up, leaving my covers strategically draped over my lap. “You just guessed, didn’t you? You know I don’t stay asleep long once you start playing.”
“That’s probably it.” She took the opportunity of a brief lull to look over her shoulder and flash me an impish grin. “Not like I’ve known you for years and can tell these things.”
“Not through super vibration senses. Or whatever.”
“Doesn’t take super senses. Just takes some basic awareness.”
Lexi was back at her game, eyes glued to the screen once again. I let the argument drop. I didn’t really know if she was telling the truth or not. There was just enough believability in what she said to make it confusing. On the other hand, I couldn’t remember her ever correctly calling me out on being awake without checking before. But on the other other hand, how many chances did I give her? Not many.
I was happy enough to be distracted from my mental circling by watching her play. Then a little less happy when I was further distracted by what she was wearing. Her top was riding up a bit, leaving a gap between it and her panties. Her lower back was uncovered. Not strictly arousing on its own, but rather by proximity and potential. And she did have such beautiful soft skin…
I reached over and tugged Lexi’s top down. It only halfway covered her panties even after my adjustment, but it was better. She gave me a lopsided grin for my troubles.
“What was that for?”
“What was what?” I asked, electing to plead ignorance.
“You just pulled a ‘Mom’.”
“Yuh huh. She’s always fiddling with my outfits too.”
“That’s not what I was doing. Your shirt was riding up. That’s all.”
“So you fiddled with it.”
“I fixed it.”
Lexi nodded sagely. “That’s what Mom calls it too.”
I frowned, but she didn’t glance back again. I opted not to carry on arguing on the basis that I’d only get myself in trouble. Pointing out that I wasn’t acting like Mom at all because Mom wouldn’t have been fascinated by the small of Lexi’s back seemed like a bad move.
Just to make things more difficult, Lexi shifted during a lull in the action and her top rode up again, more or less where it had been to start with. What ever happened to the days when it was all baggy shirts at bedtime? When did these smaller, cuter tops start making such an appearance? Oversized t-shirts wouldn’t ride up like that.
Aaannnd now I was thinking like Dad. Fantastic.
I should probably have just given up then. I could have just walked out, left Lexi to her game, and gone to check on those muffins she’d mentioned. That wasn’t what I decided to do.
Instead, I tickled the bottom of Lexi’s foot. She squealed and kicked at me. I tickled her other foot, resulting in more kicking and protesting.
“Cut it out!”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re tickling me. Stop!”
I stopped. That wasn’t what I wanted anyway. Instead, I place my hand square on the small of Lexi’s back. There was only a small strip of skin between her camisole and panties, the rest of my palm lay with the fabric of her top between us. I didn’t dare go for her butt.
Lexi didn’t protest my hand placement. I hadn’t been sure either way, though I expected at least a questioning look or something. She ignored me entirely, to all appearances.
I was being so very stupid. I knew it, but it was one of those things I just couldn’t help, despite knowing better. That small, sneaky feel of my sister. That illicit touch. It was the tactile equivalent of all those times she’d made me stare at her butt. It got to me the same way, made me feel things that weren’t at all proper for a brother.
“What ya doing now?” Lexi asked.
And still she didn’t tell me to move my hand, nor even glance over her shoulder at me. Just kept playing. Letting me leave my hand on her back. Though, I supposed, it wasn’t really objectionable yet. Since she couldn’t see into my mind, all she knew was that I had a hand on her back. Odd, but not yet fully weird or worthy of argument.
It made me question myself though. Why I was doing any of this. Yes Lexi had a nice butt. Yes I’d been forced to acknowledge that thanks to her lack of awareness around me. Yes she had lots of other interesting qualities too. And yes it felt nice just having my hand there, resting, drawing her warmth through my palm. And… and…
I shook my head, having rather lost my train of thought somewhere back there. I needed to snap out of it. It was early, that was all. Not thinking straight.
“I’m gonna go check on those muffins,” I said.
“Good idea. Bring me one if they’re ready?”
She beamed such an innocent, hopeful smile that I could hardly refuse. I amended my earlier thought about how she didn’t realize what she did to me. In certain specific ways, she certainly did. How hopeless would I be if she ever explored beyond adorable, impossible-to-resist smiles?
I threw on a shirt and headed to the kitchen. I could smell fresh-out-of-the-oven baked goodness even before I got there.
“Morning, Aiden,” Mom said. She was just setting the last of a tray of muffins onto a cooling rack. She smiled. “You do have a sense about these things, don’t you?”
“It’s why I get up every morning.”
I gave her a kiss on the cheek in passing, then snagged a couple small plates from the cupboard.
“Are you taking one to your sister?”
I nodded. “Yeah. She’s in my room. Probably not coming out for a while.”
Mom chuckled softly. “Where else? I don’t understand that girl. She never wanted a Nintendo of her own, you know. Never in all these years.”
“I think she’s just clever and realizes she doesn’t need to spend money or presents on a setup of her own when she can just use mine, and maybe pick up a few games here and there that she wants to play.”
“Probably so,” Mom agreed. “When you take those up, ask her if she wants some juice?”
“I’m not room service,” I grumbled.
Lexi hadn’t moved since I’d left her. She might as well have been frozen in time, if not for the progress she’d made on screen.
“Thanks, bro,” she said with another beaming smile as I set her muffin next to her.
“No crumbs,” I warned her.
“No worries. I’ll sweep ’em all on the floor.”
“That’s not at all what I said.”
“Mmhm,” she replied absently while carefully breaking off a bit of muffin and popping it in her mouth. “Ow! Hot!”
“Yeah, doofus. Just came out of the oven.”
“‘oo din’ tell me ‘at.”
I sighed dramatically. “Yeah, my bad. You want juice?”
I shook my head and made my way back to the kitchen. Mom already had two glasses of juice sitting on the counter, though she’d disappeared in the interim. I scooped up the glasses and escorted them back to my room. Apparently I was room service this morning whether I wanted to be or not.
Lexi took a long drink of her juice upon delivery, then paid me with yet another angelic smile. “Thanks.”
I sat and watched her play for a bit while we both ate our muffins. It was easier not to stare at things I shouldn’t when I had food to distract me, so that was nice. Once I’d finished eating, I ran into trouble again.
Another muffin would have been good. I probably should have grabbed two to start with anyway. But that would require some small amount of motivation, and I was already comfortable, and Lexi’s cami had pulled up again…
There was a solid band of skin between the bottom of her shirt and the top of her panties. Wider even then when I’d tried to fix it before. Like she was doing it on purpose. I watched her carefully for a moment, but I still didn’t think it actually was deliberate. Just careless. Totally unconcerned around me, for some reason.
Well, not for some reason. Because I was her brother, and she assumed she could trust me not to perv on her. I felt horrible that she wasn’t correct in that assumption. And yet, somehow, not horrible enough to look away.
Since I’d already gone for it before, and it hadn’t worked out too badly, I was quicker this time to scoot close to Lexi and put my hand on the small of her back.
“You want another muffin or anything?” I asked, just to pretend to myself like I would take an excuse not to feel up my little sister.
“No,” said Lexi in an absent tone. “I’m good.”
She was good. I had my hand on her back, not quite on her butt, and she could have sent me away if she wanted. But she was good. Interesting.
I rubbed a small circle over her lower back, partly directly on her skin, partly through the thin material of her camisole. Still no reaction. I carried on with another circle, then just kept going. Maybe I could spin it as just giving her a back rub if confronted, which in a sense was exactly what I was doing, so I had the technical truth on my side. But that was only if I was confronted, and thus far she didn’t seem to have any interest in such a thing.
My low-key, impromptu back rub continued, gradually expanding its radius of influence. I made sure not to actively grab her butt at any point, though my pinkie strayed across the line of her panties more than once.
It was both fascinating and confusing that Lexi was just letting me do it. It was possible, I supposed, that it might just feel nice. Strictly speaking, back rubs didn’t have to be weird or sexual. Maybe she was genuinely enjoying it and didn’t realize I might have less wholesome motives.
I truly didn’t know how far I was prepared to push it, and luckily I didn’t have to find out. Our dad called for me, interrupting my pervy, daydreamy back rubbing.
“Aiden! Are you in your room?”
I jerked my hand away from Lexi, then tried to play it off like I hadn’t been caught in the cookie jar, so to speak.
“Yeah, Dad,” I called back. “What’s up?”
“Can you come help me with something?”
“Ok. Give me a minute, I’ll be right out.”
My heart pounded a little too fast in my chest. It wasn’t like I’d been caught or anything. Dad hadn’t even come to my room. But I’d been doing something I shouldn’t, and it could easily have gone worse.
“Guess that’s the end of that back rub, huh?” Lexi said.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”
“That’s too bad. It was kinda nice.”
I stared at her, but she didn’t even glance my way. Her tone was utterly lacking in guile or sarcasm. So far as I could tell, she meant exactly what she’d said. Which was, after all, what my hope had been. Something didn’t sit quite right with me about it, but I didn’t have time to worry about it right now.
“Keep your eyes on your game,” I said.
“Gotta change, don’t I? You heard Dad.”
“So what, you thought I’d peek?”
“Maybe. I dunno. Just keep your eyes averted, yeah?”
Lexi snickered. “You’re being so weird this morning. When have I ever looked?”
“I dunno. Just don’t start now.”
I was pretty quick about getting dressed, and it was really only a few seconds while I changed boxers that mattered anyway. I rarely slept in anything more than underwear, and what with Lexi’s early morning gaming, she’d seen me like that too many times for it to even register.
She was still just lying there staring fixedly at the tv screen when I left.
I was pretty convinced I’d been temporarily insane that morning. Once I’d gone through some of my normal life, the urges I’d felt seemed ridiculous and not a good idea to act on at all. Then again, that was often how urges experienced while horny seemed once the moment had passed.
Luckily, I hadn’t broken anything. Nothing had changed. I’d acted a bit weird, but judging by Lexi’s lack of reaction through the rest of the day, she’d barely given it any thought.
It was late that evening before I was given any sign that I’d made an impression.
This time, I was the one playing a game. Lexi came into my room near-silently, except for the faint squeak of the door. I didn’t give her much notice at first since that morning was out of my mind, I was otherwise absorbed, and her walking in whenever she wanted wasn’t unusual, so long as I hadn’t left the door fully closed. She was better than our parents about respecting a shut door, and I made sure to leave it cracked most of the time so as not to push my luck and ruin a good thing.
Rather curiously for Lexi, she slipped around behind my chair and stood leaning against the back of it, arms draped loosely around my neck. When she didn’t do anything more than that, I got too curious not to say anything.
“What ya doing there?”
“You trying to freak me out just hovering like that? You know I’m not gonna give up and let you play instead just because you’re being weird.”
“Perish the thought.” Lexi shifted slightly. “No, I had a thought like maybe I could rub your shoulders or something, but it’s not a very good angle. Then it turned out it’s kind of a comfy spot.”
“Comfy, or just amusing because you’re lurking behind me?”
“Both.” She moved her chin closer to my ear. “It was kinda weird you just rubbing my back out of nowhere, you know.”
My heart jumped. She didn’t sound like she knew exactly why I’d done it, but she was being a bit hard to read too. “Oh?”
“But it was nice.”
“So I thought it might be nice if I did something for you too.”
“Really? Is that what this is?”
“I dunno. It was a thought. People like shoulder rubs, I think. I never saw the appeal really. Back rubs just seem better. Mighta been a good chance to find out for sure, though.”
“Well I mean if back rubs are on the table…”
“Can’t do that either, smarty-pants.”
“Maybe not right here, but I possess the mystical power of locomotion.”
I slid smoothly out of my seat and onto my bed without ever taking my eyes off my game. I emulated Lexi’s favourite game-playing pose by resting on my tummy with my elbows propping me up near the very foot of the mattress.
“Wow,” Lexi said with all due sarcasm, “that’s a neat trick.”
“I thought you’d like it.”
“Buuuttt what if I just steal your chair now that you’re out of it?”
“That would be cruel, and I would be forced to be slightly annoyed at you.”
“Oh. Well then.”
Lexi seemed to still consider being a chair thief for a moment, but opted against it. She came over to sit with me instead.
She was once again in my blind spot. I could feel her, but couldn’t see her without craning my neck around. I was forced to consider whether I’d made an error in playing along. Having her so close to me and not being able to see what she was doing did some very weird things to my imagination.
Somehow, Lexi’s first move was not something I ever would have guessed. She shifted around, disturbing the mattress under me with her movements, then swung a leg over me and sat down straddling my butt.
“The hell are you doing?”
“What?” Lexi wiggled a bit, then settled in. “Seemed easier this way.”
“What seemed easier?.”
Her hands landed on my back. “This.”
Lexi started rubbing the small of my back, slowly working up my spine. Admittedly, sitting right on top of me allowed for a remarkably even pressure distribution, but I still wasn’t sold on it.
“I really don’t think you needed to sit on me for this,” I said.
“Of course I didn’t need to. I chose to. I opted to. But no, I didn’t need to.” Lexi pressed more firmly, approaching more of a massage than a simple rub. “Or are you not enjoying it?”
“No I mean it’s nice, definitely.”
“Good.” Lexi ran her thumbs all the way up my spine, then spread her fingers and dragged her hands back down. “It’s supposed to be nice.”
“And you’re just gonna keep sitting on me?”